Let’s be real for a second: if you’ve ever fantasized about the spit roast sex position but felt too shy, intimidated, or unsure about bringing it up — honey, you are definitely not alone. I know how taboo this can sound at first. Even I used to blush at the thought of it! But here’s the truth: when discussed consensually and explored with care, spit roast sex can be liberating, playful, and completely mind-blowing. The key is doing it with trust, communication, and a little preparation.
In this body-positive guide, I’m breaking it all down for you. Whether you’re curious, excited, nervous, or somewhere in the middle, I’ve got you. We’re going to unpack what the spit roast sex position actually looks like, how to stay safe and feel empowered, and how you can make this fantasy a reality for your unique, amazing body.
What Is the Spit Roast Sex Position?
Understanding the Physical Setup
At its core, the spit roast sex position involves one person being penetrated from the front (usually orally) and the back (typically vaginally or anally) at the same time by two different partners. It’s called a “spit roast” because the center person, well, becomes the center of attention — held between both partners like the metaphorical meat on a stick.
This setup can happen in several ways depending on the group’s preferences. The person in the middle may be on their knees, standing, lying down, or leaning over furniture. There’s no one-size-fits-all version, which is exactly why communication and creativity matter so much here (and I’ll get into that soon).
Why It’s Popular in Fantasy and Roleplay
Let me spill some truth here: the spit roast sex position isn’t just about the physical sensation (though that can be pretty amazing). It’s about power dynamics, mutual attention, and being deeply desired. For many, this plays into fantasies about being the center of pleasure — receiving from both ends, literally — or surrendering control in a safe, consensual way.
It’s also popular in threesome fantasies because it involves everyone being engaged at the same time. No awkward third-wheel vibes — just pure, interactive fun. And contrary to what you’ve seen in movies, it doesn’t have to be rough, fast, or extreme. It can be sensual, slow, playful, or passionate. Your body, your rules.
Communication, Consent, and Boundaries
How to Discuss This Fantasy Openly
Okay, so how do you even bring something like this up?
First of all, let’s normalize the ask. You are 100% allowed to have fantasies. Expressing them doesn’t make you weird, greedy, or “too much.” I typically start these conversations with something like:
- “Hey, something’s been on my mind, and I’m curious how you feel about it…”
- “I’ve been thinking about exploring a threesome, specifically a position like spit roast — is that something on your radar?”
Framing it as a conversation instead of a demand can open the door for honest, pressure-free dialogue. Some people may not know what you mean, and that’s okay! Be patient and ready to answer with clarity and kindness.
Setting Rules and Checking in with Partners
Fantasy is fun, but safety and comfort make it sustainable. Before anything physical happens, I recommend establishing:
- Clear boundaries (What’s totally okay? What’s off-limits?)
- Protection plan (Are condoms, dental dams, or gloves needed?)
- Safe words (Choose one for a hard stop, and one for “slow down”)
And don’t assume the rules are carved in stone forever — check in again before, during, and after. Enthusiastic ongoing consent is not a bonus — it’s everything.
How to Prepare for a Safe and Enjoyable Experience
Emotional and Mental Readiness
Before you dive in, ask yourself some gentle but real questions:
- “Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel pressured?”
- “Do I trust both partners enough to be this vulnerable around them?”
- “Am I ready to be fully seen, pleasured, and prioritized?”
This isn’t just about logistics — this is about building a positive, respectful space where everyone can feel safe exploring. The hottest threesomes are built on emotional security, trust, and honest desire.
Physical Preparation and Hygiene Tips
Here’s my go-to prep checklist:
- Shower and freshen up (use fragrance-free products if you’re prepping sensitive areas)
- If anal play is involved, only go there if you’re comfortable and clean — a gentle enema may help, but it’s not required unless you prefer it
- Trim nails (yes, really), wash hands, and make sure everyone has their own condoms/toys/protection
- Hydrate and stretch! This is physical activity — and your body deserves care before and after.
Positioning Tips and Variations
Spit Roast with Two Partners
Here’s the classic setup that works well for most bodies:
- You kneel or lean forward on a soft surface (like a couch edge, padded ottoman, or even a sex bench)
- Partner 1 enters from behind, ideally while holding or guiding your hips
- Partner 2 faces you for oral, either standing or kneeling depending on height and alignment
Pillows under the knees, elbow support, and thigh cushions are game-changers for comfort — especially for plus-size, disabled, or joint-sensitive bodies.
Options for Different Genders and Orientations
This isn’t just a male-female-male configuration (though that’s how it’s often portrayed).
Spit roasting can involve:
- Two women using strap-ons and one partner at the center
- One non-binary person being penetrated by two assigned-male-at-birth partners
- Combination of mouth and toy penetration with any genders involved
The setup is flexible. Adapt it to who you are and what you’re into — no cisnormativity or heteronormative assumptions here.
Furniture, Angles, and Comfort Techniques
Furniture can totally elevate your spit roast game. Here are some body-loving additions I swear by:
- Liberator wedge pillows for angling hips or relieving pressure on joints
- A sturdy, waist-height kitchen island or padded ottoman to lean on
- Adjustable harnesses or swings if accessibility or weight-bearing is an issue
Think outside the box. A spit roast doesn’t have to happen on your knees — standing positions allow for easier weight shifting and can be way more sustainable for bigger bodies.
Safety Precautions and Aftercare
Using Protection and Reducing Risk
Multiple partners = more fluid exchange potential. Here’s my protection protocol:
- Condoms for penis-to-vagina and penis-to-anal penetration (change if switching)
- Dental dams or flavored condoms for oral if needed
- Lube, lube, and more lube (Silicone-based works well for long-lasting glide)
If toys are involved (like a dildo or strap-on), clean between use or use a fresh condom between partners. Communication is hot, but so is sanitation.
Importance of Aftercare and Emotional Debriefing
This part is so overlooked — and so necessary. Aftercare isn’t just for BDSM scenes. It’s essential for any intense or emotionally charged sexual experience.
After a spit roast play session, I always recommend:
- Snuggles or closeness, if everyone’s emotionally open to it
- Hydration, gentle words, and shared space to come down from the high
- A post-scene talk: “How was that for you?” or “Anything you’d do differently next time?”
This builds emotional trust and gives everyone a voice — even hours or days after the event.
Empowerment, Fantasy, and Exploring Kinks Respectfully
Normalizing Group or Power-Exchange Fantasies
If you’ve ever been ashamed for craving a spit roast, listen to me right now: your fantasy is valid. It doesn’t make you dirty, promiscuous, or submissive in a bad way. It makes you curious, open, and human.
Power exchange and group sex fantasies are normal in healthy adults. Normalize it. Celebrate it. And surround yourself with people who accept you for ALL your sides — not just the PG ones.
Healthy Exploration Through Mutual Consent
You don’t need to jump into a full-scale threesome on round one. Experiment slowly. Maybe the first step is fantasizing together with your partner, or roleplaying the idea with toys before bringing in a third.
This is your journey. Take only the steps that feel good, and always own your agency. Never trade your comfort for someone else’s curiosity.
Here’s my takeaway:
The spit roast sex position isn’t just a porn trope – it’s an adventurous, empowering way to explore pleasure, power, and connection on your terms. With the right partners, open communication, and beautiful self-respect, it can be one of the most thrilling experiences you’ll have.
If you’re ready to try it, or just curious and exploring, I see you. Your fantasy is not “too much.” It’s exactly enough. And you, exactly as you are, are deliciously worthy of every ounce of pleasure coming your way.
