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What Is the Scissor Sex Position?
Let me tell you something I wish someone had told me years ago: the scissor sex position isn’t just for porn stars or hyper-flexible bodies. It’s not some wild fantasy meant for the bedroom elite. It’s real, deeply intimate, and totally possible for all kinds of bodies – including yours.
When I first stumbled upon it, I’ll admit, I was skeptical. I thought, “Is this even practical?” But the moment I tried it – with some trial, error, and a few pillows – I realized it’s not just about looking acrobatic. The scissor sex position is about connection, closeness, and exploring your partner’s body from an entirely new angle – literally and emotionally.
If you’ve ever felt like traditional positions just aren’t cutting it – maybe the angles feel off, the pressure’s awkward, or you just want something that invites more eye contact and emotional intimacy – the scissor position might be your new go-to.
Origin and Popularity
Like many positions that look sexy in diagrams, the scissor position started gaining popularity in lesbian erotica and queer-focused adult films. But over time, more couples – LGBTQ+ and straight alike – began experimenting with it for the sheer intimacy and unique stimulation it offers.
It flew under the radar for years, partially because it takes a bit more coordination. But now it’s reclaiming the spotlight, especially in more inclusive sex education, because real people with real bodies are talking about it. Myself included.
Basic Mechanics of the Position
At its core, the scissor sex position involves both partners lying on their sides, facing each other, with their legs interlocked like a pair of open scissors – hence the name. It’s most commonly used for vulva-to-vulva contact (a.k.a. tribbing), but it can be adapted for heterosexual and gender-diverse pairings too.
There are dozens of variations, but the main idea is friction and connection. Each person’s thigh rests between their partner’s, creating pressure against genitals and clitoral areas. It’s one of the most intimate positions for mutual grinding, and when done right, it can feel *incredible* for both partners.
Benefits of the Scissor Position
Increased Intimacy and Eye Contact
One of the things I love most is that you’re truly face-to-face. With your legs intertwined and your hips pressed together, you naturally fall into eye contact. It makes for some serious emotional closeness, especially if you’re used to positions that feel a bit disconnected.
Plus, because your hands are free, you can caress, hold, or cradle your partner – and that level of full-body engagement? Next-level intimacy.
Unique Pleasure Angles
Depending on how your bodies align, the scissor position offers pressure that you just won’t get from missionary or doggy-style. For vulva-owners especially, you get direct clitoral stimulation from your partner’s pubic bone or upper thigh. And trust me, positioning your pelvis just right can get you to some pretty intense orgasms.
Balanced Stimulation for Different Bodies
What I adore about this position is the equal focus. It’s not one partner doing all the work. This is a co-experienced grind. Whether you’re gay, straight, trans, plus-size, petite, or anything in between, the scissor position can be easily customized for your body type and sexual preferences when approached with care and creativity.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Body Positioning and Balance Tips
Let’s be real: the first few tries might be clumsy. You’ll feel like you’re playing Twister with no clear rules. Here’s my tip – start slow, and don’t aim for perfection. Focus on your hips aligning, and use your hands or forearms to stabilize yourselves.
If someone is sliding away or the rhythm breaks, just pause and adjust. Laugh through it. Sexy doesn’t mean serious all the time.
Flexibility and Comfort Adjustments
You don’t need Cirque du Soleil flexibility. Seriously. If straight-legged scissoring feels tight, bend your knees slightly to relieve hip tension. Or prop one leg up on a pillow to reduce strain. Your comfort is sexy. Your pleasure is sexy. Don’t force a version of the position that doesn’t honor your body’s limits.
Navigating Awkward Movements
Let me assure you: bumping knees, slipping legs, or losing the groove is totally normal. Instead of criticizing your body or your partner’s coordination, try this – communicate. Laugh. Adjust. Reconnect. You’re discovering each other, not auditioning for anything.
How to Make It More Comfortable and Enjoyable
Pillow and Prop Recommendations
Okay, game changer moment: get yourself a good wedge pillow or sex positioning cushion. Liberator makes some fantastic ones, but even a thick, folded firm pillow under your hips can instantly change everything. It angles your pelvis just right and reduces pressure on your joints.
Also, think about using a yoga mat or soft blanket underneath to keep things grippy and cushioned.
Best Lubricants to Use
Friction is fun – until it’s not. A good water-based lube adds glide without mess. I personally swear by Sliquid H2O – it’s body-safe, non-sticky, and great for skin-on-skin grinding. If you’re in the water (yes, showers or baths!), go for a silicone-based one like Uberlube.
Talking to Your Partner About Preferences
Want to know the real key to making scissoring more enjoyable? Talking about it. Before, during, and after. Ask them where the pressure feels best. Offer feedback without critique. Sharing your turn-ons and tweaks out loud builds trust and makes the experience doubly hot.
Scissor Position for Different Body Types and Pairings
Adapting for LGBTQ+ and Hetero Couples
This position shines in queer relationships, especially between two vulva owners. But it’s adaptable. For heterosexual partners, the scissor position can become a side-angled fusion of spooning and missionary, with one leg draped over the other’s hip. Penis-to-vulva penetration? Still possible, just slower and angled carefully.
For trans or nonbinary folks, the emphasis isn’t on genitals alone – it’s on total-body erotic touch. You can use hands, toys, or strap-ons to add stimulation that fits your body’s needs.
Size and Flexibility Considerations
If you or your partner are plus-size (hi friend, me too), scissor positioning might require more support – and that’s okay. Spread legs a bit wider, focus on alignment over aesthetic, and use props that give your hips elevation. Having a soft surface and back support helps loads here.
And remember: You’re not “too big” or “not bendy enough.” You just need to find your unique rhythm.
Creative Variations to Try
Side-by-Side Scissoring
This is the OG version. You’re both flat on your sides, facing each other. Legs are interlaced, and your hips meet in the middle. It’s great for deep eye contact and chest-level touch. Add a small pillow between your lower backs to stay propped and avoid rolling apart.
Seated or Elevated Scissor Forms
One of my hottest discoveries: the seated scissor. Sit facing each other with legs wrapped around your partner. This works beautifully on a sturdy chair, edge of the bed, or even the floor with firm cushions. It allows grinding, kissing, rocking – all with added intensity.
If lying down isn’t working, elevate! Experiment with one partner lying back on a wedge or yoga bolster while the other straddles and leans in diagonally. Play, explore, adjust as needed.
Expert Tips for Better Connection and Arousal
Incorporating Touch and Kissing
Don’t get so focused on the hip grinding that you forget about hands and lips. I love running my hand along my partner’s thighs or gripping their waist to sync our rhythm. Gentle kissing or even whispering during scissoring adds layers of intimacy and keeps you both deeply present.
Maintaining Eye Contact and Emotional Intimacy
The magic of the scissor is in the closeness. Hold gaze if it feels right. Or simply rest your foreheads together as you move. Emotional heat fuels physical arousal in this position more than many others, and it’s okay to get a little vulnerable and raw mid-session.
Safety and Consent Considerations
How to Communicate Boundaries
This position invites openness and trust, which is why clear communication is key. Use safewords or simple cues like “pause” or “softer” to guide the experience. Before trying it, chat openly about what’s exciting, what’s off-limits, and what you’re curious about.
Physical Safety and Injury Prevention
Support your joints with pillows. Go slow with new angles. And if something hurts – stop. There’s nothing unsexy about protecting your body. Trust me, long-term pleasure is built on listening to your limits, not pushing through them.
Conclusion: Is the Scissor Position Right for You?
If you’re craving a sex position that’s as emotionally intense as it is erotically creative, then yes – the scissor sex position might be exactly what you’ve been searching for.
It might take some patience. You may giggle through the awkwardness. And that’s perfectly okay. Because real sex is messy, beautiful, connective, and always worth customizing for your body and your pleasure.
So go ahead – grab those pillows, lube up, communicate clearly, and give the scissor position a try. You just might uncover a new favorite that reconnects you – to yourself and your partner – in ways you didn’t expect.
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