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If there’s one thing I’ve learned on my journey toward body-positivity and radically joyful sex, it’s this: exploring new pleasure doesn’t require a “perfect” body or a circus-level flexibility. Every body is a sexier body when you feel confident, curious, and connected. That’s exactly why I’m obsessed with teaching positions like the monkey sex position – it’s playful, primal, intimate, and (bonus!) surprisingly accessible for many couples, even if you’re plus-sized, stiff, or just plain new to experimentation.
Heard of it? Curious what it actually looks like in bed and if it’s something your body can comfortably enjoy? I’ve got you. Let’s break down exactly how the monkey position works, who it’s great for, and how to make the most of it (without slipping, straining, or giving up halfway through).
What Is the Monkey Sex Position?
Overview and Basic Concept
The monkey sex position is a sexy twist on standing or lap-based sex where one partner (commonly the receiver) wraps their legs around the giving partner, clinging like – you guessed it – a monkey. It’s intimate, sweaty, playful, and totally fierce.
This position can happen standing, seated, or with assistance from furniture – which, honestly, is the secret to making it work for diverse bodies. There’s a cheeky, acrobatic vibe to it, but don’t let that scare you. If you’ve got a sturdy chair, a solid bed frame, or even a good grip and a little teamwork, it’s very doable.
Differences from Other Similar Positions
Unlike missionary (flat) or doggy (from behind), the monkey sex position is all about vertical closeness and movement. It’s more active than cowgirl and more connected than doggy. There’s eye contact, chest-to-chest touch, and an intimacy that feels downright primal.
It shares DNA with standing positions, yes – but with a lot more skin-to-skin and clinging action. Think “wraparound passion” meets “workout session,” but without needing a gym membership.
How to Do the Monkey Sex Position
Step-by-Step Instructions
Here’s how you bring the monkey position to life – safely, comfortably, and enjoyably:
- Step 1: Start facing each other, standing or with one partner seated on a sturdy surface (a cushioned bench, sex chair, or bed edge works great).
- Step 2: The receiving partner lifts their legs and wraps them around the giving partner’s waist.
- Step 3: Hands go around the shoulders or neck for support and balance. It’s all about the cling.
- Step 4: Penetration happens with a gentle rocking motion – not deep pounding. Focus on rhythm and stability.
If you’re plus-size or have limited core strength, grab a chair with armrests or use the edge of the bed with the giving partner on their knees for more support. The magic is in the modifications.
Best Techniques for Comfort and Pleasure
If you’re using a standing version, make sure whoever’s holding the weight has bent knees and stable footing. For the seated version, stabilizing yourself with pillows behind the giving partner can make all the difference.
Add a wedge pillow under your hips or behind your back for a more relaxed angle. Lube is always invited – especially if friction or sweat becomes too real.
And don’t forget: eye contact, neck kisses, and steady breathing turns this from “how do we do this” into “oh wow we’re really doing this.” Trust me.
Why Couples Enjoy This Position
Physical and Emotional Benefits
The monkey position is electric for emotional closeness. You’re eye-to-eye, chest-to-chest, and breathing each other in. It’s not just about penetration – it’s about connection. That kind of intensity does amazing things for intimacy.
Physically, it lets you get deep (in all senses of the word) while moving slowly and intentionally. This is a huge win for folks who want full-body closeness without the monotony of standard positions.
When It’s Most Enjoyable
This position really shines when you’re warmed up and feeling playful. I recommend using it after foreplay or as part of a longer session where you build up to it. It’s also great for those “quick but memorable” moments – just be safe and grounded if you go for the standing version.
If you both enjoy music, a slow beat can help you sync your movements together. Yes, I’ve done it. Yes, it changed my life.
Tips for Success
Communication and Consent
Before trying the monkey sex position, talk about it. Share your curiosity, your hesitations, and any physical limitations you want to honor. This isn’t performing – it’s exploring, together.
And remember: no position is worth discomfort or feeling insecure. If something’s not clicking, shift it, pad it, or move on guilt-free.
Ideal Settings and Timing
Make sure the room is set up for success. Pillows nearby. Floors clear. No slipping hazards. I personally love soft lighting, a calm playlist, and a flat surface nearby for switching positions without that awkward pause.
Evenings work great, or mornings when you’ve got a burst of energy. Experiment and find your own rhythm – don’t feel boxed into “sexy time only happens at night.” Your body deserves pleasure any time, any day.
Enhancing the Experience with Toys or Variations
Want to amplify things? Vibrators absolutely belong in this position. Wearable clitoral toys (like a panty vibe or C-shaped vibe) can make it even hotter for both partners.
You can also rotate your hips in this position or try gentle grinding instead of full thrusting. Use your voice – moan, whisper, ask – to keep the emotional connection strong. It’s not about acrobatics; it’s about expression.
If balance is tricky, use a sex position wedge, Liberator-style chair, or even a padded ottoman. You can recreate the monkey position totally seated – don’t let standing-only instructions fool you into thinking it’s not for you.
Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Posture and Balance Issues
The biggest mistake I see? Assuming you have to hold the entire body weight midair. That’s cinematic nonsense.
Instead, use furniture or support. Keep knees bent. Don’t lock your legs or strain your lower back. If either of you starts slipping or shifting uncomfortably, pause and readjust. There’s no shame, only savvy problem-solving.
Discomfort or Strain
If there’s discomfort, especially in the hips or lower back, chances are the angle needs adjusting. Try propping under the hips, shifting your alignment, or taking it slower.
This isn’t a cardio contest. It’s sensual. It’s sweaty. It’s intimate. And that means moving within your range – not past it.
Is the Monkey Position Right for You?
Fitness and Flexibility Considerations
You do not need to be a yoga expert or gymnast to enjoy this position. What you do need is curiosity, a little creativity, and a focus on pleasure — not performance.
If you or your partner have joint issues, back concerns, or endurance considerations, modify. Use support tools, switch to seated versions, or incorporate breaks without the pressure of “doing it perfectly.”
Try It with an Open Mind
My philosophy? Try everything once (consensually) and figure out what feels good for your body. The monkey position might not become your number one go-to — or it might unlock a new favorite rhythm between you and your partner.
No shame, no pressure. Just playful exploration.
Conclusion: Playfully Deepening Connection
Let’s be real: sex isn’t just about orgasm. It’s about expression, exploration, and feeling seen in your body exactly as it is. That’s why I love the monkey sex position — it brings a playful energy, a deep emotional connection, and the kind of intimacy that transcends technique.
You deserve sex that feels powerful, personal, and wildly satisfying — and the monkey position might be your next favorite move in the bedroom. So get curious. Get close. Get a little primal. Your pleasure deserves it.
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