What Is the Butterfly Sex Position?
Basic Description and Visual Setup
Let me paint you a picture: You’re lying on your back on the edge of the bed, hips right at the edge, legs raised and bent, feet resting gently on your partner’s chest or shoulders. They stand or kneel at the foot of the bed, entering you with a front-facing angle that’s both intimate and deeply satisfying.
This is the butterfly sex position, and trust me, it’s one of my absolute favorites—not just for the intense connection it creates, but because of how beautifully it works for every body. Whether you’re plus-size like me, navigating joint sensitivity, or just looking for that sweet spot of control and comfort, this position delivers.
Why It’s Called ‘Butterfly’
The name comes from the visual—your legs fluttering open like wings. It’s delicate in name but powerful in practice. Think sensual spread, soft vulnerability, and open-bodied connection. And just like a butterfly can’t be caged, this position gives you freedom to explore pleasure without pressure.
Benefits of the Butterfly Sex Position
Deeper Penetration and Enhanced Angles
This position naturally tilts your pelvis upward, making it ideal for deeper penetration and hitting the right angles, especially the G-spot or prostate (depending on your anatomy). I’ve found that this angle changed the game for me. After struggling with discomfort in more traditional positions, the butterfly gave me that “Oh! There it is!” moment.
Pairing it with a pillow under your hips can intensify the angle even more—more on that in the prop section below.
Comfort and Control for Both Partners
One of the best things about the butterfly sex position is that it gives control to the receiver while also allowing the giver to explore pace, rhythm, and depth in a super accessible way. You’re not pinned down, and you don’t need to support your own body weight—which, let me just say, is a blessing for folks with joint pain, back issues, or chronic fatigue.
And for partners with larger bellies, chests, or thighs: this position removes the pressure of “fitting” into classic poses. It’s built to flex and adapt.
Body Positivity and Inclusivity
This is where I get a little emotional.
All too often, I hear from readers who believe their body somehow disqualifies them from trying “sexy” positions. Let me be crystal clear: That’s a lie. Despite what you may have been led to believe, positions like the butterfly are actually better suited for plus-size bodies or limited mobility because they remove a lot of the physical strain.
Butterfly is body-positive by nature. You’re grounded, supported, and open. It’s not about performing; it’s about experiencing joy. Period.
How to Do the Butterfly Sex Position
Step-by-Step Instructions
- Start by lying on your back on the edge of the bed, buttocks just barely on the mattress.
- Bend your knees and bring your legs up so your feet rest on your partner’s chest or shoulders.
- Your partner stands or kneels between your legs, depending on bed height.
- They guide themselves in while supporting your legs and hips as needed.
- You can hold the sheets, the edge of the bed, or your partner’s hands for stability and extra connection.
- Optional: Put a pillow or wedge under your hips to elevate the pelvis for new angles and deeper feel.
Recommended Positions for Different Body Types
If you’re plus-size (like I am), focus on support and openness. The butterfly position shines because gravity helps your body do the work for you. Choose a bed that’s the right height for your partner to stand without hunching, or stack pillows so you’re elevated.
If you’re navigating a mobility challenge or chronic pain, you can do a modified version: Lie further back on the bed while keeping your legs slightly lifted using a body pillow or under-the-knee foam. The standing partner can kneel on a cushioned surface to reduce intensity.
For smaller partners or partners with shorter torsos, adjust the leg placement lower—on your partner’s waist or thighs instead of shoulders—to make things feel more grounded.
Pillow and Prop Suggestions
- Under-Hip Support: A sex wedge or firm pillow can elevate your hips for better angles and less strain.
- Thigh Holders: If you have limited hip flexibility or want more leg support, use rolled towels under your knees.
- Bed Edge Comfort: Place a folded blanket or towel at the edge of the mattress to cushion your spine or tailbone.
- Kneeling Pad for Partner: If your partner kneels instead of stands, have a yoga mat or soft cushion visible—it makes a huge difference!
Tips for Maximizing Pleasure
Communication and Consent
Sexy talk starts with honest talk. Before you even get into the position, check in: How do you feel in your body today? What feels good? What doesn’t?
If something feels off during sex, say so. I always tell my partner, “Green means go. Yellow means slow. Red means stop.” Easy, clear, no shame.
Ways to Boost Intimacy and Connection
Make eye contact. Hold hands as you’re being entered. Whisper into each other’s ears. Slow it down, go playful, laugh—whatever makes you feel grounded in the moment. Intimacy is power, and the butterfly position isn’t just hot—it’s beautifully connective.
Try adding music or dim lighting. It transforms the vibe without needing anything else fancy.
Best Positions for Clitoral or G-Spot Stimulation
This is where butterfly becomes magic. You can easily reach down or ask your partner to stimulate your clitoris during penetration. A bullet vibrator or suction toy like the Satisfyer Pro works wonders in this position because your hands are free and open.
G-spot? Yup, this angle is built for that. The upward tilt of your pelvis gives your partner direct access. If penetration alone doesn’t do the trick, don’t hesitate to combine it with manual or toy stimulation.
Common Variations and Alternatives
Advanced Moves and Transitions
Once you’re in the butterfly and feel comfortable, try these spicy add-ons:
- Have your partner grab your ankles and press your legs wider or higher for more stretch and openness.
- Lift your hips briefly during thrusts to increase pressure and rhythm variation.
- Switch from butterfly to missionary with a simple pull—just scoot back onto the bed and change vibes mid-flow.
Standing or Edge-of-the-Bed Versions
If you’ve got a sturdy chair or bench, you can mimic the butterfly position with you sitting back and your partner kneeling or standing between your legs. Alternatively, lean back in a recliner, or do the position on the edge of a table or even a sofa.
The edge-of-the-bed version is still the classic, though. Just be sure the bed height is right for your partner’s height and mobility.
FAQs About the Butterfly Sex Position
Is This Position Good for Beginners?
Absolutely. In fact, it’s one of the first positions I recommend to folks exploring new angles or building confidence. It’s easy to get into, doesn’t require circus-level flexibility, and allows for slow, controlled movements.
What If We Have Physical Limitations?
You can absolutely make this work. Use props. Use communication. Use creativity. Don’t aim for a porn-perfect scene—aim for what feels good today. That might mean bending your knees only slightly or staying flat on the bed instead of being on the edge. There is no wrong way to adapt.
How Can We Make It More Romantic?
Light candles. Play a slow playlist. Use massage oil to warm each other up before getting into position. And during penetration? Lock eyes. Breathe together. Tell your partner what you love about them. Connection is the new aphrodisiac.
Final Thoughts
Here’s the real talk: The butterfly sex position is so much more than a position—it’s an invitation. To slow down. To open up. To embrace your body and your pleasure without shame or hesitation.
It gave me confidence. It gave me orgasms I didn’t know my body could have. And it opened the door to deeper connection with my partner and with myself.
So go ahead—try it tonight. You don’t need to look a certain way. You don’t need special skills. All you need is your beautiful body and a willingness to feel good in it.
